The Butterfly Circus

Today, Leah says to me, “I’m bored…. can I clean the toilet and vacuum my bedroom?” Elijah and Dillon are both sitting in time-out for fighting with each other. Matthew is being Matthew. It’s my last week as a nanny for the Marlands. I began to think to myself how much I am gonna miss this. It’s so weird shutting one door to open another. Then my mind started to wander towards leaving my family for 18months! I’ve never left them for like for than 2months! What the? How am I gonna do this? 😛 We’re attached at the hip! I’ll miss waking up at 2am and ready to rip off my brother Nate’s head for leaving his alarm clock on like this morning. I’ll miss Nate’s giant bear hugs and  his arm around my shoulder.  I’ll miss my brother Jake playing pranks… like fake farting in public or waving at random Chinese people or walking across the cross-walk in his “gay walk.” Charity… I’ll miss girls nights and her sneaking into my bedroom in the middle of the night to sleep next to my bed. I’ll miss having her as my lovely little assistant and wing-girl. Driving up to Eden with my dad made me realize how much I will miss his counsel and his laugh. I’ll miss talking about boys with my mom and her positive outlook when I’m discouraged. Then my brother-in-law sent me a text… and I realized most of all… I’m gonna miss the NUTTY side of my fam. Haha like seriously, who goes on a family vacation and sets up 6 lap-tops to compete against each other in a children’s typing game! Yeah, we’re nerds. In the words of one of my favorite quotes… “Families are like fudge, mostly sweet with lots of nuts!”  I’m so grateful for the blessing of being with them for eternity.

Then as a read this morning, I realized that I have the opportunity to bring that very blessing to other people. I can leave my family for 18months so that other families can be TOGETHER FOREVER!! 🙂 Another thought that has been playing over and over through my mind is how good people are. I can’t wait to show people that feel lost and broken that there is hope in this world. It comes in and through Jesus Christ. My favorite line in Marianne Williamson’s poem is “our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure.”  My brother Shawn’s video has been running through my head since Monday. Every caterpillar can become a butterfly with the gift of hope made possible through Christ.


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